Hello Internet Land.

Morning to the people of Internet Land. I’m sat at the laptop in our dining room. You can see the front of the house from here and not long ago I had to shoo away about five sheep who looked like they were eating my daffodils.

View from the window, minus sheep.

The house is a bit of a mess at the moment. I took it upon myself last week to eventually empty the shed of our boxes containing belongings that we brought with us over three years ago. It’s been brilliant in some ways, I’ve discovered things I didn’t even remember having! Begging the question, do we really need them?? But there was a load of books, pictures and a couple of ornaments that I love (I tend to keep ornaments to a minimum, so they are ones we love). There was even some of my clothes, which is always good news. Baby stuff too, sleeping bags, blankets etc, so a bit of reminiscing went on too.

But anyway, yes, the house is messy and we actually don’t really have much space to put anything. We need to get some shelves put up somewhere, which will make things much better, the question is, where? It also made the house smell, because the shed is very damp around the edges, mainly where the boxes were and the bottoms of the boxes were mouldy. I think that’s wearing off now. It’s easy to get a bit despairing at times when I look around, it seems so crowded, but it won’t always be like that, so I just need to do what I can and get on with it. It does make my heart beat a little faster when I look around though and not from pleasure haha.

But there is also pleasure in the looking round, yes, there are toys everywhere in the living room, (as well as a lot of junk elsewhere) and that is often the cause of my going ‘aaaargh!’, but it’s also lovely, it’s only for a short time in life, then the junk changes, and so it is also good and I will take pleasure in the fact that my kids are at home, have good imaginations and play really well.

It’s been strange and beautiful really over the last few years since we decided to home school, because the world tells us and we tell ourselves often that we cannot possibly spend all our time together and that we need ‘me’ time etc etc and ‘what are the kids going to do all day’. The thing is, what I’ve found anyway, is that there are periods where the eldest says ‘what do I do?’, but that very quickly he naturally finds something to do and that something is normally playing and being completely absorbed in something imaginative. Strangely, they seem to have got better and better at playing! Like it’s a skill! I guess it is. Also, it’s become so very normal now, just being together. Going everywhere together, And I love it. I didn’t keep them at home for company, which I think has been thought by some. I thought and still think it’s the best option for us, I don’t need company like that. But I do like it a lot.

There are plenty of moments where I feel like tearing my hair out, and moments where I think ‘what am I doing??!, but the good outnumbers the bad by far. Time management is an issue for me, there is so much to do, but I’m gradually getting to grips with that. Praise God for His mercy and His love, that enables us and gives us wisdom for all circumstances! I do find as well, that you do naturally develop your own rhythms, all of you, where you can get the time you need, it either happens naturally or for example, I use the greenhouse quite often, to just give myself ten minutes and get my breath and sanity back. The getting my breath is generally due to the jobs and other stuff, not the kids. Step into God’s presence on purpose! I need to remember life is good. God is even better.

I found a sheet of photographs when I was clearing the shed, which had a load of photographs of our eldest boys second birthday and it made me happy but sad too. We always tended to do family gatherings on birthdays and Easter etc, food together and all that and now we can’t. It’s definitely one of the bitter things about moving away. There’s plenty of sweet, but there’s also plenty of bitter. I’m talking about those bitter/sweet moments. I really miss friends and family at certain times, Easter being one of them. Our old church has recently stopped doing the livestream on a Sunday, and I understand, but I have to admit I feel a bit lost at times, sad. I miss them so much. But you do also just have to just get on with your life, otherwise it’s easy to get too caught up in the past and miss what’s happening now.

We do need to start attending church here and getting to know others more maybe. But it’s just so different, I don’t think people get how different. Also, the thought of getting my four year old through a mass makes me very nervous. But Jesus loves me, and He is guiding me through all of this new ‘stuff’. I don’t have to be impatient because He isn’t. There’s a lot of excitement when you move somewhere new, a lot of hope, a lot of busy! but the fact remains that the incongruency between I’m somewhere that is beautiful and I am blessed, grates with the fact that I actually get really homesick and admitting it is absolutely ok.

Brilliant thing yesterday though! Our car passed it’s test! It passed! Praise God for a husband who knows what he’s doing with it! I nearly whooped in the test centre. Or did I? haha. I know I turned around staring and grinning at the certificate and the people around, going, ‘it passed, it passed! it passed!!’ A man said ‘congratulations’ 😀 And! while it was being tested, I took the boys to a coffee shop for the first time in over two years. It was so good, so, so, so, good. Being sat inside a coffee shop with my boys, them eating cakes the size of their heads (almost) and me drinking a coffee. I shed a tear (abnormal for me I know (that is sarcastic)). That is one of the good things about this year, simple things have become so good. I have to get this in too, the kids are currently watching YouTube, dogs that are dressed up as Ghostbusters. They make me smile.

That will do for now! Happy Easter, good bye and God bless you all in all ways and all things.

Ta ra!

Cathy.

Windy weather..!

Yesterday and last night was horrendous! The wind was so strong it blew our new egg stand over, thankfully, it’s ok and didn’t take anyone down with it… But I’ve taken the cabinet out of it (it has glass in it and part of it broke) and we’re going to put shelves in it instead. I’ve also weighed the bottom down with rocks.

It’s getting a bit warmer apparently and the plants are growing in the garden, so I guess that’s a sign that it is, but it still feels cold to me.. It’s so exciting in the greenhouse, all my little seedlings are growing more and more every day. I’m not yet quite sure where I’m going to put everything but I’m sure it’ll work out. We have some gherkin cucumber plants this year, I think I need to look up how to look after them and what to do with the gherkins. It’s all good fun as they say.

It was lovely prior to this week, yes, it got cold, but it was dry. It is so nice when it is dry. Then it’s legged it down (rained a lot) again for a while, so everywhere is soggy again. The weather here is so unpredictable. Then again, everywhere we’ve been they always say the same thing, ‘all four seasons in one day’. They said it in Orkney, I’ve heard it said in England and they say it here. But I have to say, I think it is more unpredictable here than in Derbyshire.

Our new chicks are coming on well, unfortunately as with most chicks, we don’t yet know what sex they are. So I’m beadily watching out for signs. I’ve managed to spot the cockerels quite early with our recent hatchings so I should have some idea soon. As always, hoping for girls, but with most hatchings, the best ratio is usually 50/50. So just part of life with chickens I’m afraid! J (our eldest boy) loves them. I bring them downstairs for him a couple of times a day and he handles them and looks after them for a bit.

Getting a grip on home ed can be tricky! I signed us up for the art classes (It’s called the ‘go sketch club’ if anyone is interested). I think she’s doing some free classes during Easter. But J is not that interested in doing them. Our sign up has come to an end, but I probably won’t be signing us back on for now. Maybe later at some point. Littlest might like it when he’s a bit older. I really liked them. It’s hard realising that your interests are not always their interests! and when to push it and when not to. She had some really good ideas about how to start people off drawing, and was so good with the kids. I recommend her if your kids are interested in art.

I’ve sent off for J John’s (A UK preacher/evangelist) book on the Easter Story for the kids and we’ll be reading and talking about Easter when it comes. Maybe look at different traditions and why it’s celebrated in different ways, things like that. Make sure the kids realise what it is really all about. Jesus. I just love just saying His name. He’s just so ridiculously powerful and beautiful and yet he washed His disciples feet. Think about that, I’ve spoken on that before in a blog. But He, Jesus, washed His disciples feet. He came to serve, not be served. The Lord of Lords, King of Kings came down as a baby, to a relatively poor family, grew up with them, fully human and fully God and served. He healed people, He freed people from oppression, He delivered them from demons, He helped them, but not only that, He forgave people’s sins, He said if you come to Him you would never thirst again. God. Jesus. Beautiful King who came down for us, suffered terribly, but saw us as the joy set before Him. Then was resurrected so we can have life and life to the full with Him. It’s so hard to put it succinctly, you can put it briefly and clinically, again, like I have before, ‘He came to save us from our sins’ and that is true, but through all this, He does so much more.

And! we have life with Him after death, eternal life. Death is no longer to be feared. He gives and gave so much more than we realise. He still does all that stuff, He still heals, He still gives freedom, He still loves us and he is alive. Easter is awesome, because He is. People often say it’s about new life, spring etc and it is, but also, so much more, because when we come to Jesus, because of His sacrifice and resurrection and when we give our lives to Him, and tell him to have it all. He gives us life.

Thankyou for reading. Have a lovely day.

Cathy.

It’s Sunday!

It’s Sunday (talk about stating the obvious) and I’ve come to sit in the caravan for 5 minutes or so. I’ve been to Sligo this afternoon to pick up six new chicks.

They all look a little like this 😊

They’re beautiful. I said I wouldn’t hatch any, but I never said I wouldn’t buy any. They’re about 4/5 days old I think. And apparently lay dark brown eggs when they come to the right age, which will be lovely.

Chris has made a stand to go outside our house, which we are putting spare eggs into. It looks amazing. I wasn’t sure how well selling eggs would take off but they’ve all gone so far! so thank you.

It took about an hour to get to the lady’s house who was selling them, and then of course an hour back. But when you’re in Ireland, this sort of distance sort of becomes normal really. It just doesn’t seem that far any more. And it was a nice journey too, very scenic, with mountains, Mary’s and fields all over the place.

It’s spring, so it’s busy, but good busy. We’ve gone down the no dig route with the greenhouse. So we’ve done a basic clean up, put compost all over and then covered with the planting membrane’s. I’ve tried to cover everywhere in there this year as weeding becomes a huge task otherwise. I’ve got enough to do with the front garden, never mind anywhere else. It’s covered!

It’s ready!

Things are growing fast! And because the poly tunnel is made from polycarbonate, it seems to hold the heat quite well and the young plants aren’t getting any frost damage because there isn’t any inside there.

So far, we’ve planted red cabbage, beetroot, chard (although I don’t actually know what to do with chard yet), lettuce, spring onions, broad beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, gherkins, chillis, sunflower seeds and early potatoes outside. There’s probably more, but that’s what I can remember off the top of my head. I say this every year… but it’s so exciting!

That’s enough for now. I need to go back in. Hope you’ve had a good Sunday.

Cathy.

The way…

I’m a little bit conflicted about writing the following, so I’ll try and keep it brief. I wanted to write about the past week, but the following just keeps going around in my head, so I’m going to get it out. I may do another blog about what is going on on the ‘homestead’. For the homestead peeps. It’s definitely less heavy ha.

I just wanted to remind Christians of something. What I want to say is… your particular part of church, your denomination (or no denomination), the way you worship, the group you mix with, the way you express your faith, what you do……is not (shock, horror) the way, the truth and the life. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through him.

I will repeat it again, your particular church is not the way, the truth and the life. Jesus is. the scripture is not ‘no one comes to the father except through (enter church name), it is: ‘Jesus answered, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). Thankyou for listening. Bows and exits swiftly, haha.

I feel quite strongly about this, a long time ago, I was of the opinion that no one apart from Christians in my particular part of Christianity were ‘saved’. Then I took part in Street Pastors and swiftly realised that this was complete rubbish. I did literally go in suspiciously looking for error and non Christians, because of the impression I’d been given as a new Christian, and it was wrong. The ‘church’ is the whole church, the church of all believers, not just our own little bits.

I am not aiming this at Catholics like some might think, I’ve seen this attitude in both non Catholics and Catholics. I’ve seen Catholics mock the ‘other side’ as it were, undermining their decision to follow Jesus. They seem to be of the opinion that we ‘protestants’ think it’s ok to pray one prayer and then we’re saved and can go about our lives in much the same way and still have a seat in heaven. Well, that’s true to a certain extent, we, like all Christians, are covered by the blood of Jesus, covered by His righteousness, once we put our trust in Him, so yeah, our past, present and future sins are forgiven. But what you fail to acknowledge or realise is that once Jesus is in you. Once you have genuinely (and that is the key I think, genuineness), put your trust in Jesus and made Him Lord of your life. He makes you new, gives you a new spirit and the law is now written in your spirit/heart rather than just your head. So your life changes. The Holy Spirit speaks into our lives. But please, those who mock, don’t. We love God, we follow God, we make mistakes, we confess to God and repent, and we’re forgiven. We take it seriously (well, I do) and do all things because of the Love of God and the love that this brings out in us.

“I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.” (John 10:28-29).

But also, on the other hand, like I’ve already mentioned, I’ve experienced the other end, where people who actually know very little about Catholicism or other parts of Christianity, develop a ‘them and us’ attitude and decide they know their beliefs because of (quite often anyway) what they’ve been told by other people in their particular church. What I will say about believing Catholics that I have either met or experienced online, is that they are reverent, deep, want to experience everything God has and Jesus is their saviour and they trust everything to Him, including suffering.

Another interesting thing is, I’ve been between worlds for quite a while now, looking and watching both Catholic and non Catholic worlds and what I find interesting is that the non Catholic world over the last two years especially has been preaching more and more on the way we live and the way we honour God with our lives. And the Catholic church seems to be preaching grace more and more often. It’s very, very interesting.

The church is the church and we worship Jesus. He is the saviour of mankind. We are not. I think one of the reasons I feel so strongly about this is that I’ve been like this, I’ve made assumptions on people, I’ve acted as if no one else on earth could possibly know Jesus apart from people in my particular church. And that was wrong. We need to listen to people, not make quick, glib statements and tell them our views.

Anyway, if you’ve made it though all that. You may have figured out that I’m trying to figure some stuff out at the moment. So I’m just trusting God and asking Him ‘what do I do?’ as I saw quoted on Heidi Baker’s facebook page the other day. We can trust Him no matter what, which is always good.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert 😀 (but I do have God’s spirit in me).

God loves ya people!

Cathy.

It’s the Tuesday post! On a Wednesday!

Warning: I do talk about a car accident in this, not in graphic detail, but it is there.

Well it’s been quite a week, but I’m having to decide what to put in here. Do you know, someone said to me not that long ago ‘all will be well in the Lord’ and she’s right. It will. No matter what is going on here and now. All will be well in the Lord. If it isn’t now, it will be one day. And by Lord I mean Jesus. I love these verses: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6).

It’s so good to know that Jesus gives hope. That is what he gives. You know, sometimes I’ve thought of the whole thing in terms of ‘oh no, people who die who don’t know him, won’t be in heaven’. And that, to me, is just absolutely heartbreaking. But I’ve come to realise, yes there is a decision to make to follow Jesus, for Him to be Lord of our lives, but me/us knowing someone’s decision is not the last hope. The last hope is someone crying out to God wherever or in whatever circumstance they’re in. Even at the end of their life, or especially maybe. For God to speak to them too. A thing that gives me hope is that I know a lot of people’s default when terrible things happen is to actually pray. Because the need for God, the knowledge of God (as far as I am concerned) is built into us, whether we are completely aware of this or not. And God is full of mercy too, which is something I think we sometimes forget.

You know, I wondered about God and the afterlife a lot in my life before becoming a christian. From childhood all the way through my adulthood, up to 34, when He drew me to Him permanently. We seek solace and hope in so many ways don’t we? When I was a child, I can remember reading my bible, on my own, in my bedroom. But I didn’t really get it. When I was older, things happened and I got very angry and upset and yelled at God and told people He didn’t exist. But He did and does.

Then other things happened, I had a baby one week before I was 21, I lived with her dad at that time, and then, I think when she was one, there was an accident. Her dad was driving his parents to an airport on the M1 when our car broke down. They pulled up onto the hard shoulder and waited for his brother in law to come and rescue them. From what I remember he pulled up and they started transferring the bags and then a lorry hit the cars on the hard shoulder and left the motorway. When he hit one car, that car hit the other and in that process, my girl’s dad and his parents were seriously injured and his brother in law was killed. I got one of those phone calls in the early hours of the morning from the hospital to come in and my parents came to look after my girl and my dad drove me to the hospital. I’ll never forget the horror of those first few weeks. All our lives were impacted and changed, whether mentally or physically, they changed.

I can remember being terrified in the hospital. I wasn’t a nurse then and knew very little about what was going on. I can remember walking about the corridors literally sobbing and not knowing what to do. There was a lot happening. I won’t go into it all. I can remember being terrified when they said how long he was going to be in hospital, it actually wasn’t as long as they predicted. I can also remember getting a prank phone call from someone who presumably knew him and pretended to be him and pretended to be in pain, telling me I had to come in quickly. I went straight into the hospital and he knew nothing about it. People can be horrible.

I can remember at his brother in laws funeral, feeling absolutely furious because the vicar was talking about him being somewhere ‘better’.. To me, where could be better that at home with his young boy and his wife.. I was only about 22 I think (I apologise if any of this is wrong, it was a long time ago). But I can also remember over the coming months that it was probably one of the first times I contemplated whether there was life after death properly. As in seriously. It is a serious business really. I cried a lot!..

I think we all have these moments, I can remember another time, years after, when I’d broken my heel. I was a single parent by then and felt quite scared and very alone. I’d had surgery on it and had a pot on and all that, which may not sound that serious, but it was to me. I had moments of pure misery, where I recalled all the things I’d done wrong. I even tried to apologise to a couple of people for stuff that was quite a while ago. And what strikes me is it’s so similar to what God does when you know him. He brings you to repentance. But when you know him, you know where to put all this stuff. You bring it to him and if it is necessary, you do make amends. But it is God who forgives.

I am sorry if people don’t like me writing about all this. I’m not after pity, I just love contemplating how God works in people’s lives and how He can work in our lives. He works all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes (Romans 8:28) and the good news is that I’m not one of the spiritual elite. He’s there for you too. Not just me, or the chosen few. He’s there. This is not to negate the absolute horror of what happened to us or what happens to others, it’s still horrible.

I can remember all too clearly from several times in my life, the horror of life, the horror of what can happen or what has happened. The feeling that you’re in some sort of nightmare from which you cannot escape every time you open your eyes in the morning, every time you lie there in bed unable to sleep, as well as many other situations. But what I can also tell you is that God is there, as Revelation 3:20 says, … I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

That’s a promise and that is that is that.

God bless you one and all.

Cathy.

An actual Tuesday blog!

Hello! It’s Tuesday and I’m actually here on time. We’re watching the cat in the hat film at this moment, or rather the kids are. We read a Dr Seuss book together and then put the film on. So I thought I’d take a moment to write this. We will do other things later, which, I suppose is part of the beauty of home schooling, you can choose your own timetable.

I’ve been thinking, it’s funny, reading back on old entries here, I used to be so honest about things, about how I was feeling, things that were happening, about God. I’m finding it difficult at the moment deciding what to put in here, I think this may be because I’m feeling quite sad at the moment and still don’t feel right post covid. I don’t want to go overboard and do the too much information thing.. which I can be prone to doing. My head feels really stuffed up and cotton woolly (I’m ok otherwise though). My isolation bit ends today, everyone else seems to have recovered, the youngest is still more sleepy than usual, but other than that they seem ok. Chris is back at work. I’m glad it’s over.

I’m feeling sad because, like I said last week, someone we used to know quite well, or rather my daughter did much more than myself, died. It’s just so sad. There’s nothing else that’s within my realm to say really, I don’t have any other words in relation to it. If you pray, pray for the family and the people who loved him. There seems to have been many. He was only 32. It still gets me that one minute you can be here and alive and full of life as we know it, and then gone. I’m not going to say anything else about it. I don’t think I should or need to at this point. Apart from God is good no matter what things look like, always.

It’s really windy at the moment, we have yet another weather warning for wind and rain. I went up to the chickens earlier and the wind noise in the shed was amazing. I keep seeing adverts for hatching eggs at the moment and keep having to tell myself no! I’m not hatching any more this year, I’ve promised. But I must admit, I saw some chocolate brown coloured ones this morning and nearly lapsed, but decided to stand firm. We have enough hens for this year I think….. and I’d like to be able to go back to England at some point without worrying about chicks being looked after, so I will stand my ground! I think.

I don’t know when we’ll be visiting, but it’s been quite a while, so we’re due to see people I think. The only thing is I’ve got to sort a new passport for one of the boys with a new photo, so I think I need to go to a photo booth with a code that enables you to upload the photo to the online application. I think that will work, even though we’re in Ireland.. I hope so.. otherwise it’ll possibly be a trip to Belfast to the passport office. It will be nice to see England again for a bit. It’s been 2 1/2 years I think since I came back. So yeah, when it happens, it’ll be good.

So, over and out. Have a good one people!

Cathy.

late again..

Hi. Not going to do much of a write today, just wanted to say hi! It’s been quite a week, it was the anniversary of my dad’s death at the end of last week, this week we’ve all come down with ‘rona. All of us, including the kids. Seems it’s a load of rubbish that it doesn’t affect kids much, because they’ve been quite ill really (they’re recovering now though). I didn’t get it until Tuesday and it came on quite quickly. Thankfully, I’d already been shopping on Monday. So we’re doing the isolating thing this week and being ill at home. Someone from Chris’s work rang him yesterday and asked whether we needed anything, which I thought was lovely (unexpected, which made it even more lovely). Then, we found out yesterday that someone we used to know through my daughter had died, which was a massive shock. Then there’s the International stuff, the war etc, so there’s a lot going on.

So, what I’m going to do today is just say, if you’re lonely, frightened, low, depressed, worried, grieving, hopeless or anxious, firstly please know I’m praying for you, I’m going to specifically pray for people in those situations, I’ve experienced those feelings in my life, especially in the past and have an inkling as to what it feels like. and secondly, please know that you have purpose and meaning, no matter how you feel and you are loved more than you could possibly imagine by the God who made you and probably a whole lot of people too. The world needs one of you. It may be a bit of a cliche, but it’s true.

Cathy.

Winter came in a weekend..

So I thought I’d start writing earlier, at this particular time it’s Sunday afternoon, Chris is watching YouTube motorbike videos, the kids are playing loudly upstairs and I’m in the kitchen waiting for pasta to boil. The wind is so noisy outside, our wood pile is just outside the kitchen window, it has plastic covering it and it’s whipping about ballooning up a bit. I think it’s secure though. During one of the storms a while ago, the wind was so strong it kept getting ripped off at one side and I kept having to go and secure it so we figured out how to fasten it down better from this experience!

I (usually) actually like wind, it’s very dramatic, a bit like me. I think this love probably comes from many holidays spent on the north east coast of England and a lot of windy walks on Derbyshire when I was little (the love of wind thing, not the dramatics). You can just stand and take a deep breath and enjoy the wind and it’s buffeting. It can also be very destructive though and I don’t really like that bit..

We have some quite tall trees by the side of the house and it’s always a bit of a thought that they may get blown down, it’s probably unlikely, but the thought is always there in the background, much as we try to push it down. It fuels my prayers anyway.

View from the side of the dining room.

Jump to Wednesday, it turned out to be very, very strong wind on Sunday night. Scary wind! I don’t think either me nor Chris slept much, listening to it. I know everyone in Ireland and the UK probably experienced it but it turned out to be pretty horrendous. Thankfully though, there was no damage here, although I’ve heard some pretty bad reports from the English news about damage done there. I think we had at least three power cuts too!

Turns out the postman was right, winter was yet to come and it came over a weekend. Jumping back again, after Storm Eunice? I think. We had snow! it was beautiful but it didn’t last a day. The kids got out in it first thing and then we were in for the rest of the day, it rapidly melted in the rain.

Jumping again, to now, it’s pouring down again, with another weather warning for tonight I think. I guess it is winter after all!

On a different subject, we’ve done our first actual Zoom class today, an art one, it was free, for half term I think. So I thought I’d get over my dread of being seen on Zoom and do it. It was mainly J (the eldest boy) anyway, who was on and it was wonderful! I think it did me almost more good than J. We were doing patterns and things and I (and J I think) really enjoyed it. I think we may sign on for more of them, she does homeschool lessons too during the week. So that’s a first, I pressed the button and did a Zoom class. I may give myself a little clap.

So, hello and goodbye. Au revoir. (Maybe French lessons next?).

Cathy.

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday

I’m still not sure this regular Tuesday thing is going to work, but I’ll carry on giving it a go for a while. Hello! We’ve been out today for the first time in a couple of weeks at least I think. We took Chris to work and picked him up again later, it wasn’t anywhere particularly exciting, picking up chicken feed and going shopping, but still good! I got a coffee. Love getting coffee.

The weather’s been very wet again and slightly colder, during the night both myself and Chris woke up because there was a brief period where it sounded like there was a massive storm outside, the wind was battering the house and it sounded like it was hailing. It was fairly brief, but it was spectacular sounding. It’s unusual for Chris to wake up, so it must have been noisy.

So, since last week, my tooth where I had the root canal done a few years ago has cracked off (well half of it), I stood up and stood on my glasses and the lens popped out and I’ve felt very, very, very tired and I don’t know why. It’s ok though, I think I just need to start taking care of myself a bit more, I managed to twist the glasses back into shape (in a way) and put the lens back in. So nothing dreadful, just a pain. My glasses don’t feel right, I think I might ask for my prescription and send off for some, it might be cheaper and wiser, I always seem to manage to step on them or drop them at some point.

Oh yes! and I’ve been in touch with someone to maybe start going to a prayer meeting regularly (a charismatic, catholic one). So that’s new. I’m excited, but it does feel weird. I guess I’ve had two or even three years of not seeing many people, so I guess it’s probably normal to feel a bit nervous. It’s probably time though I think. I’ve just found out tonight from the man where I got the poultry feed from, that there’s a choir locally too that I had no idea about! So that’s good to know too. He says they’ll be starting back up soon.

Anyway, there’s probably more than that that’s happened, but that is all I can think of at this moment. So toodleoo. A brief one this week with not a huge amount in it, but It’s always nice to say hello. Hello!

See you soon.

Cathy.

Perfect?

I’ve been thinking. Why do we expect people to be perfect? Do you? Do I? I think I do sometimes, much as I hate to admit it. Or like they aren’t good enough. Like people have to be a certain way, that we have to ‘approve’ of them to love them, for them to get our attention and keep it. Did God approve of us? Was it on our own merits that we were saved by Jesus? No!

Conditional love isn’t love. Love loves. It just does. No matter what someone is like, no matter what they’ve done. It loves. Love doesn’t leave, it doesn’t say you aren’t good enough, it doesn’t put barriers up. Why do we? Love doesn’t say ‘look what you just did’ or sit there silently disapproving or talking about you to someone else. It confronts lovingly or shuts up and accepts. We need to stop the comparisons. We are all sinners in need of Gods grace and salvation.

Start loving. Properly. Not superficially. Forgive. Love is a sacrifice, but not one that says ‘look at me’, it doesn’t wear a pained, martyred expression. It is just love. Accepting, loving, being loyal, praying, helping, being truthful but not because of our pride or wanting to be right but because there’s a better way, God’s way. Being present, being there matters.

I’m just writing this in one go, thinking as I’m going along. There’s some borrowing from the bible as you’d expect. It’s Interesting and challenging.

People’s worth is not determined by what we think. People are made for God and by God and that is that.

Thankyou to those I have known that have shown me this and pointed me to Christ’s love. Because He is who we need to look at and know. He is the one who changes us. We can’t change ourselves in any major way. Only through Jesus who is God. And I can personally say that He most definitely does change us, our most fundamental beliefs can change in an instant with Jesus. Gods mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning (lamentations 3:22-3).

I’ve decided to just publish without refining too much, so there you go! There are probably some sweeping generalisations, but it’s just ponderings and truth about something I think we can struggle with. Well, if I can, I’m presuming everyone else can too. God bless.

Cathy.