I wrote this last September when I felt quite low. I didn’t dare publish at the time, but I’ve just read it and want to. I shouldn’t be scared of publishing things. Or of how the journey is going.
When I wrote this I could see that we were surrounded by good things, but I just couldn’t connect. It was like I was far away. And I felt very sad. But I did know God was there. And as I’ve learnt in the last 14 or so years, that is what makes all the difference. So read on! Or not.. up to you really. I haven’t changed anything, it’s just how I wrote it originally (very quickly).
I look out of the window and see the flowers swaying in the wind, they’re beautiful, but I don’t seem able to feel that today. I look and I look but it doesn’t mean a deal. Help me Lord Jesus. Help me to see you, give me strength. I want to enjoy where we are and what we’re doing, but I feel unable to do that today. Please help me. I want your will and your will alone in our lives. That’s all I want. your will, your ways, your everything. I want to see you move. I want to see you work your miracles, see people change as they realise you are there and that you’re real and that you love them. Seeing their faces lighting up and becoming free as they get to know you and dancing in your light and your glory. Knowing that you are there through anything and everything. You are the Lord and you reign over all and I will shout and worship and love you always. Jesus, I want to see you work I want to meet with you, I want to just feel your light shining down and surrounding me and seeing you do this for others. You are breath taking. When I experience this, nothing else matters. When I remember this, nothing else matters. When I walk with you like this, nothing else matters. I don’t think you can be too heavenly minded.
You are God. You are Lord. You are King. You are friend. You are everything. You hold everything in your hands
I asked J this morning (one of our sons) ‘why did Jesus come?’ and he simply said ‘to save us from our sins.’ In a world that seems to be getting so complicated and the gospel being unclear to so many. I love that. Because that is exactly why he came.
I was interested, because I’d just written down on a piece of paper, What is the gospel? I wanted to clarify it in my own mind, partly because I think we do complicate matters so much, I wrote:
The good news. Jesus is the good news.
Lived a sin free life, died on the cross, was separated from God at the point of death because he took our sins onto himself.
He descended into hell.
There was more, and there is more to it than that, but I’ll leave it there. Read one of the gospel accounts and you will see (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John).
I’d also just watched a short satire video about an interview between a present christian and a first century christian, it is funny but also uncomfortable because of some of the truth that is in it. If you want to watch it it’s here: https://youtu.be/7Zrve6NMWxk. You can make your own mind up.
So, If you are aware of being stuck in your sins/things you’ve done wrong, patterns of behaviour that aren’t right, of looking to this, that and everything to try to remedy matters, in need of hope. It’s simple, you need Jesus. He will cleanse you from your sin and make you new. The journey then starts! and what a journey it is. It is one that I have never, ever regretted.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9).
Hi, so we’ve been out a fair bit recently, making the most of the good weather. We’ve been walking, playing, we met another home ed family for the first time earlier this week, it’s been great. But just for now it’s stopped, the jeep needs a bit of work, so we’re at home again this week. Which is actually completely fine with me. There’s so much to do at the moment and it’s mainly stuff I really enjoy, so bonus!
As people who see my instagram will already know, I posted about my morning, I made passata from cherry tomatoes, I got the recipe from a lady who has a facebook page called ‘the Cottage Garden Dromahair’ and again I will repeat, it’s worth looking at if you’re interested in gardening/cooking etc as I think it’s brilliant.
I also did some chopped tomatoes, I got this method from another facebook page called ‘The Preppers Pantry’ and again, I love her page too, it’s actually got some pretty unusual things up. There’s a few jars of chutney from the beginning of the week as well and I got J to draw the labels this morning. I got going early this morning as it was supposed to be raining, but the weather is actually still quite good. I also froze some eggs for the winter as I’d lost track of what were old and what were new, so I just decided to start again and freeze them for our own use. You just mix them up like you’re making scrambled eggs and freeze them.
The flower growing is quite exciting, I love that we’re growing our own plants. There’s some that we might have to overwinter in the greenhouse in pots and then plant in the spring as it gets so windy and rainy it tends to kill plants that aren’t well established. I have lots of lemon balm, ox eye daisies, snap dragons, aqualegia, chives, lupins and some others. I also ordered some new vegetable seeds from a new Irish online store called Sow and Grow and they arrived the next day and were really well packaged. One of the principles (I think) behind the company was to minimise waste and not to put too many seeds in the packets as so many seeds often don’t get used. I will definitely be using them again. I’m also going to start growing some half hardy annuals this autumn in the greenhouse in the hope that we may have some early flowers for the garden next year.
The homeschooling or home education as I am tending to prefer to call it nowadays has started in earnest this week. J had started complaining he was bored early in the day (he wanted to go on games on the phone), so I’ve started doing our formal type work (which is still quite minimal) early in the day and it’s gone well so far.
Generally, as in this morning, I have been trying to get jobs done early and then do the language arts and maths after that, but what I find, is I then try to rush everything. I was getting stressed trying to rush the jobs and then not concentrating on time with the kids so I changed it. I’m finding that being more in the moment and making the effort to actually ‘be’ with whoever I am with and concentrating on what we are doing at the time is a lot better for everyone. I also really, really like ‘to do’ lists, so they help. I just like notepads and pens really.
This morning, the kids were playing really well, therefore I did do the jobs. They were jobs I really enjoy as well, such as seeing to the animals and sorting the greenhouse and making (cake and passata). And then we’ve done the formal stuff. What I have found that we didn’t do any official ‘learning’ over the summer, but we do talk about words and numbers in everyday general life and situations, and J actually hasn’t really forgotten anything, if anything he knows more than when we finished in July. So I can see how the unschooling approach could work really well.
I’m hoping to do some woodwork and some sewing/making this year as well with him, because he is very practical and enjoys doing. I love choosing what we are going to learn about and tailoring it to us, discarding what doesn’t go well and adjusting our path to what is needed and will work. The only thing I need to sort is starting to learn Irish, so I’m going to look at a couple of websites that schooldays.ie recommends and take it from there (I know virtually no Irish apart from failte). So I’m looking forward to it too. There’s something called Rosetta Stone that I’ve seen advertised and seen people commenting that they use and recommend, but I think that’s probably for in a year or so’s time, when the boys are a bit older. (I haven’t used it, this isn’t a recommendation!)
So it’s going quite well, we’ve started to meet other home schoolers in the county and surrounding area. Early days yet, but looks promising. We are in a gorgeous place, loads to do, but I actually quite enjoy that and I am very thankful that I have the privilage of actually being at home with our kids. It’s a miracle that I do really! Thankyou God.
Right, I’m going, see you all soon. Love to family and friends.