I think this may be my last blog for a while, I think I need to take a bit of a step back and give myself a bit more privacy and space. There’s also opinions on everything under the sun flying about everywhere and I don’t think there’s a lot of room for more. I have a couple of things to say today though.

  1. Father’s day. Treasure your dad’s. Mine died last year and it’s something I struggle with every day, along with the fact that I left the area where my family is so I can’t support them. A card or a text really isn’t much effort and it may mean a lot.
  2. This place is beautiful as many, many people have pointed out. It also is and has been an extraordinary experience. But it can also be very lonely and challenging. So pray for us if you have half a mind to do so.
  3. This coronavirus thing…I can’t help noticing that a lot of people seem to decide their actions at the moment based on others, well, they’ve done this so that means I will because they have. Nonsense. You do what you can and what you deem sensible and right. You are accountable for your actions, not other people’s. They haven’t made a mockery of everyone distancing or not travelling because they have, they’ve made a mockery of themselves.
  4. God loves you.
  5. I really think I need to learn to love like a child does, this is what our J said about his dad:
Isn’t it lovely?

I think I’ll still be using Instagram, I love pictures. I’ll probably be back on here at some point, not sure when though.

See ya!



Life is challenging in general at the moment and I don’t actually mean personally and here, I mean in general. Attitudes and tempers are flaring, the news is going mad, it’s very tempting to get caught up in it all. Getting caught up in things is fine and good providing we go about it the right way. Hunger and thirst for righteousness by all means but insulting people just because you don’t like what they do or how they do it, probably isn’t the right way or how to love our neighbours.

What I find challenging is that we can’t expect people who don’t know Jesus to actually act like him. We can try to change people, we can try to change the world and laws, we can say things are evil (and they often are), but without knowing Jesus, it is all in vain. God changes us, despite popular opinion, we do not change ourselves.

Recently I have started thinking again about what life is about here, for us. There are a few changes happening, we’ve left the church we were part of and feel God is probably calling us to a more local one, one that most believers that we know probably would not expect. It’s a bit of a period of waiting at the moment. Obviously the churches are closed, but are apparently allowed to open again from 29th June (which coincidentally is my salvation birthday). But what I am praying is ‘your will be done’, it’s a scary prayer in some ways, it shouldn’t be, because if we truly trust God then we should trust whatever He tells us to do, ‘do whatever He tells you’.

Then I’ve just seen an interview this morning where someone said that should be our prayer, that we will do whatever he tells us and go wherever he wants us. Seen a few things recently like that too. Not to mention the Lord’s prayer, so yeah, bring it on. We will do whatever you want us to do and go wherever you want us to go Lord. Now be still and watch and wait and don’t worry about what other people think.

Scripture says a lot of things, trouble is, in this blog I often don’t have the time to delve too deeply on here. But the main one as far as I can see is when you know Him is to love God and love your neighbour as yourself. Delve deeply into God, read, spend time with Him, acknowledge He is there as part of your normal everyday activities and life, He isn’t relegated to a back room, He’s there and our lives as Christians should follow Him and be with Him. He is so full of love and joy and peace, He runs to meet us, like in the parable of the prodigal son, so this should not be a burden. Sometimes it feels like it is, but it is often in those times that our relationship and faith is actually strengthened. Over the past year I’ve questioned and prayed and laid awake with Him and wondered and asked if He is there and even real. My dad’s death really threw me and did things in me that I don’t even understand. The overwhelming answer I now have is yes, He is most definitely real and here. He is not scared of questions, He is God and instead of running from Him and doing our own thing, we need to run towards Him and be with Him. Doing what He has set for us, not what others have set for us.

One other thing I am feeling, the Christian world seems very segregated, people are often very suspicious of other groups, I do feel the time is coming when these barriers need to be broken, we as people will not know how or see a way of doing this, but God does. Charismatics, Evangelicals and Pentecostals often seem very suspicious and don’t like the Traditional churches and vice versa, there’s ‘exvangelicals’ giving their stories all over the place, people who seem distracted to me (especially on Twitter) who seem more intent on correcting other churches than reaching the lost or loving people, although I can, in some circumstances see why. Catholics are often seen as not even being Christian by these groups, which I feel is very unfair. But then some (not all) Catholics talk the same about protestants. So silly. So watch this space, we may be going over to the other side…of the same coin. Providing it is His will… Church is not about us, or how we look, it’s about Jesus.

This may not go out on facebook….I may change my mind..but maybe not today…



Ooh it’s turned rainy.

So, an update, since I wrote the last post on what is going on here, there’s a few things happened. The chickens went out earlier than I was planning, mainly because they suddenly got absolutely massive. So the electric fencing is up and they are all set up in their coop and roaming around during the day. They seem to be loving it, we still can’t tell how many roosters and how many hens, so that is still to come…

They’re just over six weeks old now.

Chris has painted the barn roof, just to set the scene, it’s quite a high roof, made out of metal and we spent a few days there, him doing the stuff, like wire brushing and painting and me holding the ladder. The bit where he had to actually get on top from the front to do the middle part was the scariest, but he did it and I have to say well done, there’s no way I would have gone up.

It’s now done and a lovely shade of grey! This was before it was done, he’s wire brushing in this one.

Then lastly, the polytunnel is coming on really well, things are growing and it’s so nice to go and sit there in the evening, it’s a good place to pray, quiet, with the birds singing. That’s as long as the midges don’t get in, some evenings they’re rife!

I’m sure there’s lots of things to talk about, but that’s it for now!



My head is spinning…

Isn’t it busy on social media and the news recently, so much going on, so many opinions?! The good, the bad and the mediocre, so many theories, so much hatred coming out from so many places too. I’m sure there is love too, but a lot of stuff I’ve seen is very negative. My head is literally spinning, perhaps a fast is in order….

In saying this I don’t mean to denigrate things that have happened, there are terrible things that have happened, it’s just all the opinions that make me spin..

I was thinking a bit last night on honesty and just being us, who God made us to be. Mainly about the typical ‘how are you?’ ‘fine thankyou’ type response that most of us seem to do all the time. What is that???!!! Why do we feel like we can’t just say it as it is at the time before everything builds up to boiling point. It would probably be healthier. Of course, I’m talking about myself too. This thought actually came from a couple of interactions I had. Of course there’s healthy and unhealthy conversations, people to trust, people not to trust, dependent on what exactly it is, but when did this ‘front’ become expected? or is it just me that feels like that?

I am not a robot. I am a human. So are you if you are reading this…. We can tell God anything, but the bible also tells us to confess things to one another too and be part of a group. I don’t think I’m mistaken on that. So when are we going to actually do that in a healthy manner? are we? Am I?

I’ve just been reading the beatitudes, chapter 5, verse 4 says: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted”.

I don’t think we follow this very much of the time (as Christians), there seems to be an expectation quite often (in the protestant bit anyway) of pull yourself together, get with God, capture your thoughts, you’ll be fine. Why are you acting like that?

If you think I’m wrong, that’s fine, it’s how I’m feeling. Yes we need to read God’s word and believe what He says, but it is fine and good to mourn and weep and lament, often for a time. I believe that if we don’t do it when we need to, it then becomes unhealthy and closed off.

I still miss my dad so, so much. I miss a lot of things.

I weep for him, I wish he was still here, I wish I knew where he was, but I don’t. But God does. I will trust Him on that one and I will pray for my dad and my family. But let people mourn, there are many reasons for mourning. Let them mourn and just direct them to the ultimate comforter. Don’t make them feel as if they shouldn’t, I find non verbal disapproval in particular is rife…

This is not personal to anyone in particular, it’s a general feeling I often get and I wanted to get it off my chest. Don’t be uncomfortable with those who mourn, don’t says ‘but isn’t it great that……..’ or things like that, just love them, be with them, let them mourn, let them cry without getting in their face let them just be. Trust God with them.

(I’m not sharing this on facebook, I don’t want the exposure on there for this one, so much for being vulnerable, Twitter’s fine, hardly anyone reads it off Twitter anyway :))